So Lonely

“So Lonely” - The Police (Live From the Orpheum - Atlanta - 1979)

There’s a hole in my life now. But I wonder if it’s always been there.

Ever since she said she’d found a better way. That excruciatingly long day. Packing boxes and making memories of my memories. Flipping all about like nothing was really happening. Nothing that mattered. She took her turntable with her. Left me with all this vinyl. Stacks of wax. Now she has no subject matter and I have no means. Has the music gone out of both our lives? It would seem only fair.

I’ve been sitting around the house doing nothing. For a while now. All dressed up with nowhere to go. Starring at the faces on these record albums. Pat Benatar - Crimes of Passion. What did she do? Jackson Browne - Late for the Sky. Where is he going? Jeff Buckley - Grace. How could he live with himself? Wondering how these rock stars deal with their depression. Screaming guitars and bittersweet lyrics always made me feel so much better. The pounding drums restore my dead pulse.

Look at these three guys. Outlandous D’mour? Is that supposed to mean something to me? Regatta De Blanc? Jeez, I’m American here. I wish I could hear the voices again. The ones that rang so true. The ones that came out of the center of all these black discs. I wish I could here her voice again. She would always talk about “true rock and roll” or “rock and roll truth” or “rock and roll and truth” or something like that. It was important to her. She was important to me. The bed’s too big without her. I guess I could drag all these records into the sheets with me. It’s just not the same. I feel so lonely.

Remember Risky Business? You know the scene I’m talking about. I could strip down to my underwear. I’ve got Live Bullet right here. I’m sure that would comfort me. If I just had something to play the damn record on. Maybe I could get it all back. Maybe I could get her back.

That ‘Old Time Rock and Roll’ will just get older. And then it will die. Like me. I’ll just sit here in my underwear anyway. Waiting. There’s no need to be formal anymore. There’s no need to be careful before an audience of none. I can live my rock and roll lifestyle of inactivity. No one should complain.

Since the music has gone, the only thing I have to console myself is knowing that in this theatre that I call my soul, I always have the starring role. That’s got to count for something.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000002G2E/102-4404166-4268119?v=glance