Sweet Virginia

“Sweet Virginia” - Rolling Stones (Exile on Main Street - 1972)

I left her once. When I thought she had nothing left to offer me. That’s what I thought. Wiped the shit right off my shoes. Never thinking I’d have regrets. Never thinking how she’d be without me. How I’d be without her. Never considered she’d even want me back. Not a visit. Not another second. Much less an entire season with this desert still in my toenail.

Little did I know. I was back. Sweet Virginia. The waves behind my eyeballs gushed out like a tsunami. Flooding colors of hope for the future. Dropping reds. Greens. Blues. It hurt. But it was painful freedom. Not like the first time. More like the last. But again. I can’t explain it.

All I know is, I can’t stay. I mean, I don’t really want to. As much as she begs of me. As vintage as that wine from California that we first shared in her water. As much as she has it in her. This is no place of permanence. I am so tempted because the fruit is bitter and sweet. The way I like it. And we all know - to quote a friend - without the bitter, the sweet is just not as sweet. So to have it all there together, well…Let’s just say this is not easy.

I know I’ll be back though. Wading through the waste that is my life here. Wanting so much of her where I am. Realizing that life comes with regrets. And learning to incorporate them into my days a little at a time. Realizing that one moment in the not so distant future will render her extinct. And learning that until that moment comes, she is still there waiting for me.

Come on honey child - I beg of you - don’t let it be today.

http://www.timeisonourside.com/lpExile.html